Courageous Relationship Question

What’s the most courageous question you can ask in your relationship? 💬

This question has deeply impacted my own relationship and those of my clients:

🗣 “What is the purpose of my relationship?”

This isn’t just a question for self-reflection; it’s one to explore with your partner. Share your answers, listen deeply, and engage in open dialogue.

When this question hasn’t been considered or discussed, couples often project their unspoken expectations onto each other without even knowing or agreeing to them. This fundamental misalignment can lead to significant conflict.

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🎭 The Trap

Many enter relationships expecting their partner to make them happy. But placing the responsibility for your happiness on someone else sets the stage for disappointment, conflict, and ultimately, unhappiness.

When someone feels unhappy, it’s easy to blame the other, believing they’re the cause.

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🌱 Empowering Purpose

The purpose of my relationship is to share, experience, love, grow and evolve spiritually. However, for any of this to happen, we both must first feel safe. Safety in a relationship is often overlooked, yet it’s essential.

Challenges are inevitable, but if the purpose of the relationship is solely to make each other happy, conflict can quickly lead to feelings of who is wrong and to blame.

If growth and spiritual evolution are part of the purpose, instead of viewing challenges as failures, we focus on cultivating the skills of creating a safe space, self-awareness, and communicating authentically to repair.

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🏄‍♂️ Handling Discomfort

I’ve learned the power of not avoiding discomfort or disagreements but rather expanding my capacity to handle uncomfortable emotions and lead difficult conversations.

This is only possible when first a safe space is created—one where each person feels seen and heard without judgment, criticism, blame, or shame. It requires each of us to take ownership of our own experiences and emotions.

Making a Courageous Decision to examine your relationship is the first step. Navigating it requires many more Courageous Decisions along the way.

The good news is these are all skills we can learn and practice, becoming more comfortable with over time.

Stay Courageous

Dean Arcan