Building Authentic Relationships

What is the most Courageous Decision you can make in any relationship? 🤔

Expressing how you truly feel, no matter how uncomfortable it is.

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⚔️ Problem 1 - Expressing Leading to Conflict:

Sounds simple, but when I used to try expressing myself, it often led to conflict, upset, and tension. I’d feel judged, blamed, criticized, or misunderstood, which made me shut down, disengage, and become silently resentful. As a result, I didn't feel safe in my relationships, leaving me in a dark and lonely place.

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🥸 Problem 2 - Not Expressing Leading to Inauthenticity:

On the other hand, if I didn’t express how I felt, it slowly ate me up inside because I knew I was being inauthentic, making me feel trapped. Most of this happened unconsciously. I didn't fully understand what was happening, but I could feel the emotional discomfort it created, which I desperately tried to avoid or escape.

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💥 The Root Cause:

One of the greatest fears in relationships is losing one of our most essential needs: CONNECTION.

When I tried to share my feelings by unconsciously blaming the other person, it often triggered them, resulting in a loss of connection. This fear led me to hold back and not express myself authentically. Both approaches ultimately left me feeling disconnected with others and myself.

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💡The Solution:

The problem wasn’t that I was expressing myself; it was HOW I was expressing myself. The HOW makes all the difference!

1. Self-Awareness: I needed to figure out how I actually felt, something that had been conditioned out of me as a boy growing up.

2. Deeper Understanding: I had to understand the context of my feelings, what triggered them, and the real reasons behind them.

3. Taking Responsibility: I needed to learn to express my feelings while taking full ownership of them, regardless of the circumstances.

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💟 The Result:

Learning powerful transformation tools has allowed me to understand myself, honor my emotions, and express myself authentically, while minimizing the chances of triggering or upsetting others.

In fact, these tools have enhanced my connections and further deepened my bonds — something that once seemed completely counterintuitive to me.

Emotional maturity and conscious relating are two key skills that have helped me live my truth, find fulfillment, and build harmonious, loving, and authentic relationships.

Stay Courageous

Dean Arcan